When do kids start understanding No?

[azzam]

I'm somewhere in between Lili and Cromasaig. I couldn't leave them to cry, never. It was only necessary for one or two short periods for me, fortunately - again my manageable baby. But I think by going in every few minutes but being quite clear that you are not there to pick them up, now is sleep time, they know you are there, so the trust remains. It took two nights.

[baloo]

We keep putting it off.

He's a very happy chappy. Quick to smile and laugh. Goes down to sleep quiet easily. he just doesn't stay asleep. Sometimes you can get in there quick enough to through the dummy back in his mouth and he'll drop right off again. Other times you have to pick him up for a minute before he goes down.

The worst is when at 3am you go in and he starts smiling and laughing and wants to play. They tend to be the ones the ruin any sense of sleep for the household. Though lately it's the sleep in your arms but the second you put him down he wakes again.

Oh, trick of the last week is to laugh, talk and clap hands while he's asleep. he seems to have vivid enough dreams to wake himself up through the noises he makes.

Such is life...

[cromasaig]

Your counsellor will know an awful lot more than me, but my best friend is the kid's little taggie blankets. Like this:

big_taggie.jpg

As a security item, I find them a lot more useful than a toy - compact to carry, go in the washing machine, you can get spares, you just clip one of the loops to the buggy strap so they can't chuck them away. Instant baby Valium, without which I would find it difficult to cope.

Anyway, as long as the boys have a taggie to go to sleep with, they're happy (or at least calm) anywhere.

[Aliya]

I have the same issue, it is the waking up at night now really - no real way through that apparently although the trick is to get them to learn to send themselves back to sleep. I am in there in a flash when she cries at night and like you Baloo I race to jam that dummy back in before she wakes herself up . Lili I think you may find he is happy in his own bedroom, Ms A sleeps better in her bedroom than she did sharing with me.

[azzam]

Hasn't waking during the night also got something to do with body weight and how much they are able to eat?
I seem to remember that when they got bigger, they could take in enough of a final feed to get through the night without waking up hungry. That may have been why mine was pretty easy - he was quite big. So sleep wasn't a huge issue.

[Tack]

God I'm old !
I just could not let comment on the tag blanket pass though. Wow, my second one was a labeler. He always had a hand down the back of his neck playing with the label. Gosh how mean we were not giving him an easy access one or twenty. LOL. Didn't know this was a common fetish; the other one twisted buttons.
Baloo, naughty description of controlled crying! That hadn't been invented in my day either but we all did what we had to do. Luckily mine were both excellent sleepers.

[baloo]

Everything I know about parenting has come out of a Gina Ford book. Oh, and the baby instruction manual slinks gave us. That was invaluable for the first couple of months.

[Lili Von Shtupp]

I LOVE the taggie blanket!!! I've saved my favorite of Wolfie's baby outfits and plan to make a patchwork quit out of them. I'm going to surround it with tags for sure!

Now, all I need to do is find the time... story of my life...

[cromasaig]

Yes, I've been wanting to make a patchwork quilt out of their clothes. When I'm an old lady I shall have my quilt and a rocking chair and bore people with how perfect my children were. Or how I always knew that O would go to jail for securities fraud...

[Lili Von Shtupp]

OK, it's a date. In 30 years we'll start a quilting bee. Don't forget.

[slinky]

Man, I could have used that tag blanket a few years ago!! I had no idea it was a common thing either! Little boy slink (at age 4+) is still always looking for the tag on the corner of his favorite bedtime blankie [smilie=gnigni.gif] Slinkette usually makes a sort of loop or pocket in hers and pokes her finger in and out of it.

[Scrummy Mummy]

I certainly wouldn't let them scream all night, but I have no really strong views on controlled crying or parents who use it, each to his own and every kid is different.

In our case, we ALL sleep much better now we're co-sleeping, and mini-S just seems much happier. I kept thinking it was the "wrong" thing to do, but the workshop I've just attended on attachment in adopted kids makes me think it's right. FOR US. It's not right for everyone. If he needs comfort then he'll get it.

Just grappling with the logistics of how to manage this with Twinkle too when s/he comes along.

P.S. Was actually tinking about the patchwork quilt thing the other day. How sad are we....

[Aliya]

Tag blankets, in NZ MrA's daughter who has the daughter the same age as MsA bought a tag blanket from a woman who sews them after realising her kids loved them. Anyone want one, I can get them sent up from NZ. They are about 10 inches sq plus tags.

[slinky]

I'll be the first to admit we are probably just terribly lucky, but both of ours are and have been for most of their lives very good sleepers. We didn't do a real controlled crying thing and as I recall we often had to duck in and replace a dummy - God, I thought we'd never get rid of those things!! [smilie=gnigni.gif] (First dentist trip at age 3 I got the dentist to tell them that dummies were for babies and they were too old for them, btw. Worked like a charm - at that point they were only allowed them for sleeping at night, but from that day forward we threw them out and they've never asked for them again.)

What we did was a sort of modification on Gina Ford - the name of the book I read escapes me right now - but the whole premise was ensuring they got a full feed each time and keep them awake for a bit afterward and then down for sleep. I recall that being pretty difficult in the very early days, but they did settle into it later. The other one was putting them in the cots awake if possible so they learned to go to sleep on their own. Again, I don't recall tons of crying (at least not all the time ) and it was rare that we let them cry for all that long if they did - generally because there were 2 of them in the same room I suppose so it was rather counter-productive to have one screaming bloody murder while the other was sleeping or content enough to fall asleep soon. About the time we moved here when they were 4 months old, they were sleeping 7-8 hours per night and once we dropped the late evening feed @ about 5 months I think (which was hard to do because then you worry they'll wake at like 4am because they're hungry), they started doing 11-12 hours per night. They still do around 11 per night now.

They've even recently got to the point that when they're jetlagged - like a 12-13 hour time difference - we can tell them if they wake up and it's still dark outside they have to stay in their beds and try to get back to sleep.....and they actually do it the majority of the time [smilie=gnigni.gif] (Helps if they are in separate bedrooms like at home, but has worked ok in hotel rooms & relatives houses too.)

[Aliya]

I am soooo going to slap you tomorrow night

[slinky]

I am soooo going to slap you tomorrow night

While they do sleep well, they still get up at about 7am every single morning and that will include Sunday morning....the day after the ball.....


So, don't slap me tooooo hard.......

[Tas]

ONLY 7am, that's a bloody luxury. Again mentioning kid free, but stayed at plenty of mates with kids, and they're all up at between 5 and 6 am every bloom'n day, and it's normal for everyone- think that was the final knocker on my maternal inclinations....