The Rugby World

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The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 5th Jun, '12, 15:08

Prior to the first game of the summer tours (Scotland v Australia at 5:30pm Singapore time tonight) then I'd thought I'd cut and paste this....

Best of luck to all teams tonight and over the coming weeks. And of course, GO ON ENGLAND!

The rugby world according to Cookie Oosthuizen (ex Springbok prop)

It is largely unknown to players and followers of the modern game that rugby started off purely as a contest for forwards in opposition in line-outs, scrums, rucks and mauls. This pitted eight men of statuesque physique, supreme fitness and superior intelligence in packs against one another. In those days, the winner was the pack that won the most set pieces. The debasement of the game began when backs were introduced. This occurred because a major problem was where to locate the next scrum or line-out. Selecting positions on the ground for these had become a constant source of friction and even violence.

The problem was resolved by employing forward rejects, men of small stature and limited intelligence, to run aimlessly around within the field of play. Following a set piece, the ball would be thrown to one of them, who would establish the next location either by dropping it or by throwing it to another reject for dropping. Very occasionally, a third reject would receive the ball before it would be dropped, and crowds would wildly cheer on these rare occasions. Initially these additional players were entirely disorganized but with the passing of time they adopted set positions.

For instance, take the half-back. He was usually one of the smallest and least intelligent of the backs whose role was simply to accept the ball from a forward and to pass it on to one of the other rejects who would drop it, providing the new location for the forwards to compete. He could easily (given his general size) have been called a quarter forward or a ball monkey but then tolerance and compassion are the keys to forward play and the present euphemism was decided on. The five-eighth plays next to the half-back and his role is essentially the same except that when pressured, he usually panics and kicks the ball.

Normally, he is somewhat taller and slightly better built than the half-back and hence his name. One-eighth less and he would have been a half-back, three-eighths more and he might well have qualified to become a forward. The centres were opportunists who had no expertise but wanted to share in the glamour associated with forward packs. After repeated supplication to the forwards for a role in the game they would be told to get out in the middle of the field and wait for instructions. Thus, when asked where they played, they would reply "in the centre". And they remain to this day, parasites and scroungers who mostly work as lawyers or used car dealers.

You may ask, why wingers? The answer is simple. Because these were players who had very little ability and were the lowest in the backline pecking order, they were placed as far away from the ball as possible. Consequently, and because the inside backs were so diligent in their assigned role of dropping the ball whenever they received it, the main contribution to the game made by the winger was not to get involved. Their instructions were to run away as quickly as possible whenever trouble appeared, and to avoid tackles at all costs. The fact that the game was organised so that the wingers didn't get to touch the ball led to an incessant flow of complaints from them and eventually the apt description "whingers" was applied. Even though the "h" dropped off over the years, the whingeing itself unfortunately has not.

Lastly, the full-back. This was the position given to the worst handler, the person least able to accept or pass the ball, someone who was always in the way. The name arose because the forwards would understandably become infuriated by the poor play invariably demonstrated by that person, and call out "send that fool back". He would then be relegated well out of everyone's way to the rear of the field.

So there you have it. Let's return to the glory days of a contest between two packs of eight men of statuesque physique, supreme fitness and superior intelligence. The rest can go off to where they will be happier, playing soccer.
"Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life" ...Cecil Rhodes.

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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 5th Jun, '12, 19:35

‎2011 TriNation champions lose to the 2012 Sin Nation spooners. Wow.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by daffodil » 5th Jun, '12, 21:35

The (rugby) world has gone quite mad :o Saw the final whistle celebrations, Scottish jubilation in the rain!

Will make for an interesting game on Saturday, Wobblies will be smarting and desperate to avoid 2 losses within the week.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by daffodil » 8th Jun, '12, 18:55

See that Beale and Quade were out on the lash last night....wonder if they were celebrating or commiserating at not facing Wales tomorrow?!

Hopefully some good games on the weekend. AB's to get up against Ireland in Dunedin, Boks to beat England in SA (just) and Wales to break the drought against Australia though not writing off the Wobblies completely either.

Plus finals of the French Open.

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Re: The Rugby World

Post by daffodil » 9th Jun, '12, 12:29

Wales beat NZ in the JWC in SA last night, great result for the Baby Boyos given the Baby Blacks hammered us 92-0 just last year :fblike:
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 9th Jun, '12, 14:28

....and given that it's the first ever loss for the NZ U20s team in this competition. So it looks like the northern hemisphere teams can beat the southern hemisphere teams (as long as it's p!ssing down with rain).

Well done Wales U20.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by daffodil » 9th Jun, '12, 22:24

Well that didn't quite go to plan, Wales looked tired and strangely passive in the first half. Few poor choices in the starting line-up methinks, hopefully that will be remedied next week, get Gatland on a plane quick smart!

Some good rugby from both sides, Genia was pure class, well done Wobblies!!
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by baloo » 16th Jun, '12, 20:57

Well that was close.

Both of them.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 17th Jun, '12, 00:57

The England South Africa game was close towards the end, but who'd have thought after 7 mins and 12-0 to SA?

England were their own enemy: first try to the Boks gifted with the English blindside letting the ball past his feet, last try to Pieterson given by a couple of awful kicks from Farrell and Joseph. However, it takes some skills to convert those and both the SA 7 and Pieterson did a fantastic job (run of the match to Pieterson for that return - probably 50 meter run jinking in and out of England players. I would have cheered if it wasn't against England!)

England did improve in the second half, outscoring the Boks 17-11 and 2 tries to 1 but the damage had been done in the first half so too little too late. England, play like the second half for both halves int eh final test and you may come back with a modicum of pride. Otherwise all the good work in Feb/Mar will be undone. SA are hardly the power they were 2 years ago, with many departures and some new faces. So you've gotta scalp them at least once.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by cromasaig » 17th Jun, '12, 02:01

I've put a bit of thought into this, and have concluded that their shirts have been switched in transit and someone else is playing in the Scotland strip.

Can't find any other reason for two victories so far. :shock:

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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 17th Jun, '12, 09:17

daffodil wrote: get Gatland on a plane quick smart!
Gatland was there.

Just watching the 2nd half. Wales have given away two kickabke penalties and I know they will give another away. Discipline. The Aussies put them under pressure, but the Welsh have to cut that down in the 3rd test.

edit - Less than 2 mins to go, Wales have the ball in their half, they have been watching England too much! A useless kick into the hands of the opposition. Not into touch, not into space, but into the opposition. Both England and Wales undone by poor decision making at crucial times. How to fix before next week? How to fix before the Lions tour next year?
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by daffodil » 17th Jun, '12, 10:58

Agree FB, although Wales played way better than last week and I do attribute some of that to the presence of our coach. Which leaves me nervous about having Gats away with the Lions for the next season, but that's another story.

Wales lost last night's game in two brief periods - just before the end of the 1st half when Australia scored, then that brainfart decision by Priestland to kick away with 2 minutes to go. Yet another example of how good Australia are in the tight ones, cannot underestimate their composure and belief !

Didn't see the other games, sounds like Ireland almost did it too. There's that word "almost"....again :roll:

Edit : On a positive note (and yes I can do that today!), if the standard of the Wales V Aus game is anything to go by, the Lions tour next year will be a cracker!
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 17th Jun, '12, 11:25

And yes, Lions tour should be a good one. Plans are prepared, just waiting to put into place!
"Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life" ...Cecil Rhodes.

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Re: The Rugby World

Post by baloo » 24th Jun, '12, 00:17

And the Wallabies win another close one. When done Wales, good effort.
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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Fat Bob » 24th Jun, '12, 00:51

And a draw in Port Elizabeth for England v South Africa - 14-14. Not a great game but tight at the end. Both teams had opportunities to win but didn't take them.
"Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life" ...Cecil Rhodes.

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Re: The Rugby World

Post by Tas » 25th Jun, '12, 10:44

Fat Bob wrote:I have as much interest in this as the forthcoming US Presidential Election.
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