Fun Blog about Sasha

[Joy]

For those who might be interested, I recently created a blog which I will now update more frequently - it is of course on my favorite subject, Sasha :

http://blog.inesmartens.com

[Fresh Mint]

What is an "animal communicator"?

[Sardonicus]

A dog wisperer.

[BoD]

an Apple iMutt

[Lili Von Shtupp]

That job sounds like fun!

Thanks Joy, cute pics!

[azzam]

Can't load the blog sorry.
But reminds me, there is a bloke in Singapore who claims to be able to "channel" to your cat.
You take him a photo of the cat, and he will communicate with it.
"Bob! Stop peeing on the nice lady's couch!"

[Kooky]

Couldn't I just send the cats? They're doing my head in.

[Joy]

[azzam]

I read your blog last night, Joy. Excellent!
Can you please tell Bob he's to eat ALL the Fancy Feast tins I buy, and not just the salmon ones?

[Fat Bob]

I do not pee on the lady's couch. Unless she asks me nicely.....

[azzam]

I reckon the Fancy Feast Liver and Chicken could pass as Pate. I'm busting to try it out on a Frenchman.

[slinky]

I reckon the Fancy Feast Liver and Chicken could pass as Pate. I'm busting to try it out on a Frenchman.

Note to self: Never, ever eat the pate if Azzam throws a party

[Kooky]

Ours won't eat anything but fish, az. They have been known to pick the fish out of a mixed one and leave all the chicken. It's really hard here as most packs seem to have meat in them.

(Little shits love real chicken though - they'd take it off my plate.)

[azzam]

I reckon the Fancy Feast Liver and Chicken could pass as Pate. I'm busting to try it out on a Frenchman.

Note to self: Never, ever eat the pate if Azzam throws a party

You're all right, you're not French. I know Americans won't know the difference. Too easy

[canuck]

[Lili Von Shtupp]

HEY! I resemble that remark!

[Joy]

Bob is beautiful!

He asks right back (with a sly grin and shaking of the head): "Why doesn't she *just* buy the salmon?" The he goes on to mumble "Can't be that hard..."

[Joy]

Oh and he's complaining about that photo, saying that he's not "proper" on that photo and it is not meant for general audience...

[sundaymorningstaple]

I was actually thinking about Fu when I read this but could be just as fitting here as well......

How to give a cat a pill

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down the straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

[azzam]

Oh and he's complaining about that photo, saying that he's not "proper" on that photo and it is not meant for general audience...

Tell him "Just deal with it, tart"

[Kooky]

the fire brigade bit is all too true, but he's great at taking pills, had a lot of practise. Even Bo comes running when she hears the pill crusher being picked up (seriously, from the other end of the house) 'cos she knows tuna will be served.

[cromasaig]

Note to self: Never, ever eat the pate if Azzam throws a party

You're all right, you're not French. I know Americans won't know the difference. Too easy

Slinks, Lili, here's the proof, from the inimitable Stephen Colbert.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... ancy-feast

[slinky]

Slinks, Lili, here's the proof, from the inimitable Stephen Colbert.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... ancy-feast

He almost didn't get that stuff down without cracking up Very funny!

[azzam]

OMG!!! I swear I hadn't seen that!

Edit: That pink tin really does smell and look like slightly sloppy pate.