Meeting up with maid again - good idea?

[Scrummy Mummy]

So we moved to Oz in December. It's all good but Scummy Daddy's been travelling a lot, plus we (Mini and I) had a quick trip back to the UK to see my Mum who was sick. The upshot of all this is that he's a bit confused!

When SD's away it's "I miss Daddy". When he's here it's "I miss J (maid)". Now it's usually when he's in trouble (!) but he genuinely does miss her, so we send presents etc which he likes. He didn't miss her previously when we went on holiday etc, so I think it's more missing familiarity/being a bit unsettled as mentioned above.

I'm coming back to Singapore for a few days to work next week. I said I couldn't leave Mini at the moment as he's unsettled, so he and SD are coming too. Can't decide whether it will help him to see J while we're there, or whether it will just be worse when we leave again.

Any advice? Anyone had a similar situation with maids, nannies etc?

[slinky]

From what I know, she was really good to Mini and got on well with your family as a whole, so maybe just meeting up for a lunch or coffee/ice cream (for Mini ) would be ok. I'm not sure I'd want to make a whole day of it or anything given it might end up very confusing for Mini, but an hour or so might be nice for him to see her again.

Interesting that he talks about missing her when he's in trouble though Little kids are really good manipulators, eh?

[Lili Von Shtupp]

Interesting that he talks about missing her when he's in trouble though Little kids are really good manipulators, eh?

Hahahahaha! That's exactly what I thought too!

I think a "playdate" could be fun. If you couch it as that, then maybe he can expect there to be a beginning, a middle and an end. Plan something fun where you can all meet up, a playground or something, then when the fun is done he can say goodbye and you can all go your separate ways? I might plan something equally fun for just after, so that he has a reason to let go and move on to the next thing.

I definitely think that Mini is old enough to understand that she lives here and you live there, and she has her life and you have yours and it's nice to see old friends we care about, etc. He might just surprise you.