Complaining...bitching....unreasonable

[SunshineAfterRain]

Some of you may be aware that I have just started a new job one month ago.

In general, the guys in my team, they are nice and so is my boss. As my team is pretty small at the moment (but growing steadily), my boss asked me to assist the other team as their boss is based in Australia and they do not have any admin support. I am fine with it and have no problem supporting the other team.

But why people abuse the priviledge that is given to them? Why do people who needs assistance couldn't use the right tone and right approach and they must sound commanding or given the impression that it is my duty to help them? If a person lack patience, why can't s/he just carry out a task (e.g. making a phone call) herself and expecting me to throw down anything that I am doing to support her/him exclusively? While I have no problem to assist the other team, I don't think I must provide exclusive support to anyone of them. My priority is my boss and my team mates.

Some people simply have no respect and brought with them the old culture from their previous company, thinking that it can be applied in in the new organization/company. In a new job, we do need some transitioning period (which I am trying to adapt too) but I doubt it is our duty as an assistant to spoon feed anyone who is new to an organization. Btw, she is also new - barely 6 mths in the organization.

She can't stop picking on me and all I do is just ignoring her. I don't like confrontation and I don't see the need to behave like a mad dog who can't stop barking. Typical case of 'give a mile, take an inch'.

These 2 weeks are challenging for me and I really feel like I need to wear a very big armour to work. I feel like throwing down everything and leave this shitty place....

[Lili Von Shtupp]

SAR, you poor thing. Nothing is worse than dreading your job. Your team is growing, then do they expect to get more support for the other team at some point in the future? Did your boss ask you to help them temporarily, or indefinitely? My favorite job was one where my boss was very protective of my time and effort.

[T2K]

Define the boundaries now about what your "support" of them is. As Lili said, communicate (not whine to) to your boss. He will, no doubt, be protective of "his" asset, which is you.

Attitude problems suck, but they end when you leave the office. If I was your boss, the main concern I would have is whether this support of the other team is negatively affecting your work for me and my team.

Be honest, is it? Or can you do both but the attitude of the other team is what is bothering you?

[Satellite]

I think making clear what you would and would not do is critical in the initial phases of your job. Once that is set, then people will not push you around. Always inquire from the outset what your specific job scope is and when told to do things that don't fall within it and which one is not particulary interested in, then simiply say no it is not in the job scope and had you told me earlier I would not have taken up the position in the first place. If they insist then leave - either immediately or ASAP. It need not sound as harsh as I had written though.

[baloo]

A good admin is hard to find and it's the sort of person where you can get some access too, you'll try and get them to do as much as possible for you.

Agree with T2K, your boss will be protective of you so if it's really a problem, he'll sort it out.

[Kooky]

I would approach your boss ostensibly more for guidance than to complain. Explain that you do feel a bit swamped, do of course want to help out, but are occasionally pulled in all directions and could you please have a bit of help in prioritising the work?

Any manager worth their money would review the situation and see if it is workable or not.

edit: posted same time as baloo, basically said same

[Zephyr]

SAR, I think you've got some good advice up there. Do let us know how you fare if you go with it. Good luck.

[Tas]

SAR I'm regularly surprised (though I shouldn't be) that when I go to a boss (es)with an honest explanation of a problem with most of the solution to the problem shaped, and asked for direction from them to help complete that solution or advise on it etc that they usually come to the party and support you. Listen to T2K advice.

I would suggest taking the 'it's not in my job description' approach to people is good way of developing a bad reputation. When you get down to it it's better to foster a reputation of doing what is needed to get the job done when the workload piles up for everyone. I have many tasks that have nothing to do with my original employment, but some one had to get them done, there was no one else to do it, and generally it's been acknowledged in some fashion. That is NOT to say become the dog's body for the office, it's about being a team player. The way to manage the variety of tasks that may fall outside the the job description as such, is do as T2K, Baloo, and Kooky suggest and stay in consultation with your boss as about priorities.

[JJ]

Keep your boss up to date with your priority list. Request any assistance in communicating that priority list to the other team as and when you think it necessary. Take the higher ground with anyone giving you shit.
But keep a list of the times when helping the other team massively impacted on your work load or you had serious attitude from any of them.

At your three month review, or post that, assuming that you want to stay, explain to your boss how your original remit has been extended, the times that its been more than should be possible for one person, show some examples etc etc. Then either request that they hire someone else to assist that team/someone part time to help you with it (or a timeline on when that might happen) or say that you will take on that remit but that you would expect a salary review as the job is now bigger than the original one you accepted.

[SunshineAfterRain]

Thanks everyone for the good advices.

The last time I had a 1 on 1 chat with my boss(he is away on a biz trip for 2 weeks now), he just asked me to support the other team(there's no dotted line reporting of me to their boss). He did not specifically say if it is indefinitely or not. However, I believe why my boss would want me to help the other team is because they do not have an admin support in the SG office.

In my previous job, I worked in a department that has <50 staff - from admin/secretarial support to (liaising with IT, Facilities, HR and some govt. bodiest etc.) ensuring smooth running of the office which I can handle all the extra work given to me. In my current job, the headcount at the moment is ~15 staff (in both teams) . I try to help as much as I could since my boss has approached me to assist the folks in the other team. So far, most of the staff of that team are fine; they are pretty independent and they travel extensively. It is just this particular lady from the other team who seems like she deserve the exclusive treatment and threatened to lodge a complaint to my boss about me.

Bosses have lots of important things that need their attention and trivial matter like this will be the last thing they want to get themselves involved with. Until now, I have no idea what's her problem with me.

My objective is to ensure that all tasks that's assigned to me are completed on schedules. I try to work with everyone in the teams but I definitely can't please everyone.

Let's see what my boss has to say when he comes back from his trip. If she really can't stop being a pain in the butt, I might ask my boss to define my job scope more clearly.

[baloo]

Tas made a very good point about how to approach your boss. Don't go in with a problem unless you have a couple of possible solutions, or at least part solutions as answers. He'll be a lot more receptive if he can see you've taken the time to find a viable solution and just looking for verification and/or signoff. If you go in with just a problem he's more likely to tell you to sort it out yourself.

[Tas]

now you're starting to talk about bullying behaviour, and I think our resident board employers will have some advice on that.

[T2K]

It's sounding a bit political / personal with this one lady then, really?

Hard to give advice on that without knowing the whole scene.

It would seem that you need to do what you can for her but if she's unreasonable then you should actually encourage her to speak to your boss. This assumes that you have a good relationship with your boss and know you have his support. Which it would seem you do.

But, imagine you are your boss. What would you do? Tell the lady to "be nice"? Tell the lady that you can't help her anymore?

Like others have said above NEVER go to the boss with a problem unless you have a proposed solution in mind.

[Tas]

And remember, nothing annoys people more than being polite and reasonable and saying yes, or saying no very politely and reasonably....... I struggle with this one all the time, but when I remember it's powerful

Also, given your example of 'talking to the boss' - had an example exactly today with someone giving our pres assistant pure grief because she would not transfer them through or give them his mobile # (under complete instruction and professional protocol !!!) The individual bullied, told her she was wasting her time and that she should not be employed and he would complain. All the mean time the actual boss, whilst otherwise occupied, did hear some of the content of the conversation. She ended up in tears, once she got off the phone. Point being the boss completely knew what had happened, said she had done as he'd instructed and was completely on her side, and pretty horrified - this person has pretty much stuffed up relations with our boss big time! So as T2K suggests, politely suggest if she says it again, that it is probably a good idea for her to speak to your boss so all is clear for everyone. First it will be interesting to observe if she follows through, secondly if she does there's a good chance she'll come across as pretty petty and her status will be diminished in your boss eyes.

[Fat Bob]

Hmmmm....not sure SAR is talking about providing the work, SAR seems happy to do that.

I think what SAR is talking about is the way people ask for that work. And yes, that is a difficult one. It's very very difficult to change the way people act. And that's a difficult one. And if SAR goes to the boss and asks for help in prioritising work or anything, then that's not sorting out the underlying problem.

Sometimes the problem can be around the culture of company and the way the people above are treated.

SAR, stick it out for a few months. See if things improve. If they don't and there's no change in the culture, there's very little you can do. Most importantly with this experience is to find out what parts of the interview and selection process could have highlighted these issues, and how to spot them in the next place. Or even better, how to spot the positive culture places.