Another goodbye

Tack · Post by **Tack** » 5th Mar, '08, 13:07

This isn't really a rant but it isn't banter either.

Just said goodbye again at Changi (close family this time, expat friends other times). It gets harder, not easier as the years go by I find. I've wanted to leave Singapore for some time but am really rethinking whether I'd like to stop this expat existence for good. I don't really believe I'll find too much reverse culture shock though I have a pretty good idea what it is I'll miss from here. I thought I wanted another exciting, vaguely hardship, post but today being near family seems way more attractive. Fuzz and Azzam's bad news (and another one close to home) recently have probably contributed to this.

Being near my offspring surprisingly doesn't seem quite as important as being near rapidly aging parents.

So just when Mr T and I have the world at our feet we (I) don't want it much...meh!

Just sharing and pondering out loud; sort of.

baloo · Post by **baloo** » 5th Mar, '08, 13:45

I can understand the aging family angle. Thankfully with Japan and Australia being roughly the same travel distance from Singapore, it gives us a good reason to stay here. I also think these days travel is so much more affordable than it was, that's it's hardly even an issue to call and get the next flight out of town. I guess you'd be no more than 16 hours away from England at any one time by staying in Asia.

Tack · Post by **Tack** » 5th Mar, '08, 14:06

True Baloo but I'm not thinking about family emergencies here. They could do with more support for regular stuff

Nobody else to take some of the load...grrr.
It probably is time...

Aliya · Post by **Aliya** » 5th Mar, '08, 14:52

I'm with you on that! Remember I was doing that awful non stop round of Sing/Oz to look after mine, it is very hard and at some stage you have to put family first and also put your roots down somewhere, swanning around the world is fab but I think that at sometime you have to work out where you want to be long time lah.

Fat Bob · Post by **Fat Bob** » 5th Mar, '08, 15:02

Fat Bob's method to stop this insanity!

1: Stop going to the airport to see 'em off. Just a wee wave as the cab picks 'em up.
2: Put the old folks in a home, as much support as they need and off your hands!
3: Sit back an enjoy the "hardship" posting in Singapore, whilst sipping G&T's and warding off mosquitos and Aliya.

Feel free to change something up there. Like G&T for VAT, or Singapore Sling. Or a nice chilled sauv blanc.

Aliya · Post by **Aliya** » 5th Mar, '08, 15:15

I'm the one girl you'll never have to ward off

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 5th Mar, '08, 21:28

I'm fairly lucky as my parents were both expats and as such wouldn't expect me to move back to Blighty to look after them - after all, they never did.

Whether that is unkind or unfilial is besides the point - it works for us and is no one else's business.

Tack · Post by **Tack** » 5th Mar, '08, 21:47

Mr T and I are both exbat brats too and our parents certainly don't expect it either. But it's obvious they could do with help and I find I want to do it, bit surprised myself.
At any rate we are done with Singapore now, at the very least I want to be alot nearer UK. We'll see..

skank-la · Post by **skank-la** » 6th Mar, '08, 05:55

After 18 of the past 20 years in Asia postings I moved back to the Old Country almost exactly 2 years ago.

I too am the child of an globe trotting expat set of parents. I am now 58 & both my parents are still alive but their globe trotting days are over. A HUGE factor in our decision to relocate here wat to be closer to the 'Rents' in their sunset years. Especially so they can spend time w/their grandchild as well as myself & my spouse. It is trying at times, but I suppose raising us children was too. It is nice being within range & They do a seem to completely enjoy spending time with my son or going to one of his little league games etc.

No place is perfect. I won't lie we certainly miss popping out the hawker centre in shorts & singlet for a feast for less than SG50 for the whole family. Of course we miss income taxes so low the annual tax was equal to abvout 1 mo's taxes here.

But then there are the upsides to being here. We get to drive great cars, go to see 1st class sporting events & concerts anytime we want, & for the skankster life is WAY better than Singapore. Not only is the school better w/great arts & music programs. He, along with most children his age, takes part in organzied sports; Tae Kwan Doe year round, & baseball, swim team & football/soccer during their respective seasons. He totally likes it here better than SG.

As many of you know, I plan to retire in the Peens, have already built my retirement home & bought a small supermarket to keep me busy when that time comes so this time round I'm enjoying life in the old country. We are here for the skanksters education phase & probably wont pull out till he gets to University stage.

Also for the wife there is much more opportunity here than in SG, she is not relegated to a second class 'dependent pass; status & has already gotten her 1st stage nursing certificate & is worling full time (& enjoying it) & getting ready to start on the next certificate.

To me everywhere has its plus's & minus's. We enjoyed Singapore for the 10 years there & we will enjoy ourselves here too. Make the best of it wherever you are is my motto.

Snaffled · Post by **Snaffled** » 6th Mar, '08, 08:22

I suppose its all a personal thing. I'm not the son of globetrotters, but if you ask me where I'll be in 5 years time, I'd be equally happy in Argentina, Benin or China. And I'm just as happy not really knowing at this stage. Maybe as I get older this will change but I can't even imagine wanting to "settle down" whatever that means. Fortunately my wife is exactly the same way which obviously makes things easier. Funnily enough even though my parents are not globetrotters, the generations before them on my fathers side were all considered a bit mad - full of sea captains, people who took years off to trek through the Amazon jungles or those who explored Borneo. Maybe genetics plays a part.

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » 6th Mar, '08, 08:40

Benin, really?

Snaffled · Post by **Snaffled** » 6th Mar, '08, 09:45

Sure, why not! I spent a month there a few years ago... it'd be an adventure for a couple of years. Probably would draw the line at Sierra Leone but there is passably good Guinness from the West African breweries which would pass the time...

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 6th Mar, '08, 09:51

Snaffled wrote:Sure, why not! I spent a month there a few years ago... it'd be an adventure for a couple of years. Probably would draw the line at Sierra Leone but there is passably good Guinness from the West African breweries which would pass the time...

It's nice to see that you are taking this seriously, planning this properly and making sure of the essentials first...

Snaffled · Post by **Snaffled** » 6th Mar, '08, 11:29

I have, on occasion, been accused of having my priorities wrong. I disagree

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 6th Mar, '08, 11:31

You have certainly looked long and hard into prioritising this little baby...

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